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So, Maryland, huh? About to get warmer, maybe some rain. Big whoop. You'd think we're livi... So, Maryland, huh? About to get warmer, maybe some rain. Big whoop. You'd think we're living in a goddamn rainforest, the way people lose their minds over a few drops of water.
The "Warm" Front: Let's Be Real
Okay, "warmer" is relative. We're talking about Maryland in late November. It's not like we're suddenly gonna be sporting bikinis and hitting the beach. More like, "slightly less likely to freeze your ass off while waiting for the bus." Gimme a break.
And the rain… oh, the rain. The constant, soul-crushing drizzle that turns every sidewalk into an ice rink of despair. You know, the kind that soaks through your "waterproof" jacket in five minutes flat. The kind that makes you question every life decision that led you to this soggy, miserable existence.
I'm supposed to be excited about "warmer" weather and the possibility of rain? Like that's some kind of Thanksgiving gift from Mother Nature? Please. The only thing I'm thankful for is that I have a roof over my head and enough whiskey to drown out the sound of the offcourse, inevitable downpour.
Rain, Rain, Go Away...Or Don't, Whatever
The rain. It's like the universe is constantly mocking us. Oh, you have plans? You want to enjoy a nice walk in the park? Here's a torrential downpour to ruin your day. You just washed your car? Enjoy this lovely layer of mud and grime.
And the fashion. Don't even get me started on the "fashion." Hunter boots? Rain jackets? We look like a bunch of extras from a low-budget disaster movie. Are we really this helpless against a little water? Seriously.
I saw some idiot the other day decked out in full rain gear – boots, jacket, umbrella – and it wasn't even raining! Just a slight mist. Talk about overkill. It's like they're hoping for a downpour so they can justify their ridiculous outfit.
What I wanna know is, will it actually rain? Or will we just get teased with a few pathetic sprinkles? Because that's even worse. That's like getting a participation trophy for sucking at life.
Thanksgiving: A Brief Respite?
So, it’s getting warmer before Thanksgiving. But what does that even MEAN? Are we talking about a balmy 50 degrees? Or are we gonna get one of those freakishly warm days where it's 70 degrees in November and everyone's walking around in shorts, pretending it's still summer? I almost wish it would just snow, just to get it over with.
And Thanksgiving... Let's be real, it's just an excuse to gorge ourselves on overpriced turkey and argue with our relatives. The weather's just a minor detail in the grand scheme of holiday dysfunction. I wonder if the rain will at least keep some of the more annoying relatives away...nah, probably not.
So, What's the Real Story?
Look, I'm not a meteorologist. I'm just a guy who's tired of the constant weather hype. A chance of rain? Warmer weather? It's November in Maryland. What else is new? We're doomed to a season of gray skies, damp socks, and existential dread. Get over it.